This is not wisdom I purport to share with the world to light the path of fellow travelers, or some form of instruction for your own life – even when that’s exactly what it looks like. My logic will no doubt be flawed and at times I’ll use a “wrong” word or two. Yet, I will say this – I hope the whole of this display in some way allows you to provide yourself with guidance, if that is in fact what you seek. Perhaps it will have the great value of simple entertainment. Take what you may, for it is given in love and love can only beget love. This sharing of my process, this process in the process, is my act of bhakti.
If you watch yourself agree with me on some level, at any point, may I suggest that at times you are actually experiencing empathy? Have you digested the meaning behind the words and begun to incorporate them within your paradigm, throwing out or setting aside what does not work for you, and molding what is before you to fit your particular machinations in this stage of your life? If so, then your purported agreements are no longer exactly a manifestation of you agreeing with my words living in you, but arise from some other source, that once recognized, you are free to examine. If you have gone through the process, you will be abiding in your own belief that perhaps resembles mine.
I am in essence allowing you to watch me eat and describe the experience, the taste, the smell, the texture, the feeling as it is digested - the memories of things I have previously eaten, the nightmares that arise from some bits undigested, the desire to perfect or change the process of cooking a particular recipe as opposed to attempting to recreate an experience I enjoyed or rejected in the past.
If something sounds delicious, appearing to be something you might want to eat, you have not actually eaten it. And when I share what I experienced as a result of it, or explore some revelation that appears to be a result of a meal, a life experience, that appears to result in me doing something – it does not mean that you doing that same something will get you what you think you want; that some benefit will be gained – a short-cut to satisfaction. You would be trying to get the effect by emulating the effect, when the real treasure is in the process, what might mistakenly because labeled the cause. But even if you ate the same food I ate, have the same experience because it appeared, if my testimony were to be taken on faith, that it resulted in some positive effect, even the eating of the same food is emulating a false cause. The preparation, the eating, the digesting, the reflection - was the process, and the food itself was, dare I say… of little consequence, and yet… the prima materia.
This is my messy process - my journey. At times I may endevour to clarify my thoughts using words that might make sense, to convey something that resembles what I experienced, to present things for the most part in a way that is acceptable, checking for spelling errors, using common grammar, being politically correct and the like (and other times not so much, because that in itself might be how I feel, a messiness that in a literal form appears inefficient, but on the whole will perhaps explain myself, my state of mind, as you experience the reading of such). At times you may even find pockets of instruction, suggestions for experiences, products to purchase, and dare I say shameless self-promotion and even advertising for the purposes of allowing me to have the time to share this mess instead of focusing too intently on getting my bills paid in other ways, but the entire package is nothing but showing the process, The Great Work. It is what it is. I am that I am.
Any assumptions on your part are yours to have.
Perhaps there will even come a time when this great illusion allows us to share a meal. And I might ask, “Would you like my olives?”
Peace be upon you,